Shameless Self Inserts of the Caribbean
by Jack's Savvy Lass
Summary: Eight teens find themselves in Tortuga and soon enough as part of Captain Sparrow's crew. A treasure to which one holds the key, jealousy, embarassment and teenage hormones. Pirates beware, I warn ye now...
1. Meeting The Crew

Jessa's Note: Okay, before you say "OMG self-insert how crapola", we have PERSONALITY! No Mary- Sues (Sorry, Lucie)

Luki's Note: It isn't Mary Sue if that's the way I– err some people act. Savvy? And, this story is gonna be written between the two of us

Disclaimer: Not mine yadda yadda yadda...

CHAPTER 1: MEETING THE CREW

Captain Jack Sparrow stood in the crow's nest of the Pearl, a fierce amber glint in his eye, and a similarly colored liquid in the bottle he held in one hand.

It was an awesome sight to behold. Except that the Pearl was moored, and he had no crew. Yet.

"Um, Yoo-hoo!?" came a voice from the wharf. Jack swung around to see a fair few young women (and men) wearing strange clothes. Mostly blue tunics and white shirts, but one donned red white and grey.

He clambered down a rope gracefully to meet his new crew. He turned to Gibbs, who led the pack. "They're young, and foolish, and naive, and WHY IS THAT BLONDE ONE SWOONING?"

Jess struggled to keep Luki upright.

"He's speaking." Luki breathed

"Yes Luki" Jess replied, exasperated.

"To US!"

"YES Luki."

"Us, including ME!"

"Shut up Luki"

Jack decided to play along. He kissed Luki's hand and turned on his heel, striding up the gangway "You're all hired".

Luki practically started hyperventilating, and it took the efforts of Jess, Tayla, Simone and Jimmy to get her to walk in a straight line onto the deck.

Matt and Jimmy threw their new captain a dirty look as the girls (minus Jess, the only non-Jack obsessed one) began fawning over how hot they thought Jack was.

As the odd group got a feel for their new home, Jack pulled Gibbs to the side.

"Gibbs man! What in Gods name possessed you to hire them? None of 'em look like they've ever set sail in their life! An' besides, I thought ye said it was bad luck to have women aboard?" Jack angrily grumbled to his first mate.

"Aye, Jack that I did. But every other miscreant in the whole of Tortuga, was knocked out cold from the grog! There were none that were fit to sail for at least a week, and you know we don't have that long. Barbossa's already got a heady lead an-" Gibbs didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Jack had held up a hand to silence him.

"Mr. Gibbs, need I remind you that we are in the presence of a new crew, none of which we have seen before, therefore there is no need to be spouting out my plans to every man and his wench savvy?"

"Aye Captain"

"Good man"

Luki had now composed herself and was now actively partaking in the discussion the girls had started on their amazingly handsome Captain. As they had put it.

"Oh my God, did you see him?" Simone asked for what must've been the hundredth time.

"I know, did you see his body? He is so much hotter in real life!' Tayla added.

The male section of their group were leaning against the railing of the ship in deep discussion about their girls, and said girls new fascination with the Captain.

"You know, this is pretty cool" Evan started "being in the Caribbean and everything, plus the girls seem a lot happier."

"Yea, but how did we get here?" asked Matt

"That's something I'd like to know as well." Frank added.

"Jimmy, what do you think?" Evan asked.

"What do I think? I think we need to watch out for the girls before they do something they're gonna regret. And I think we should talk about this later, when Sparrow or Gibbs aren't around." Jimmy said, turning and glaring at Jack and Gibbs, who were having a hushed conversation themselves.

"Now, I think it's best we go and introduce ourselves to our new crew, what say you?" Jack said turning to look at the group of people, probably no older than eighteen.

Without waiting for a reply, Jack strode over to where the group was standing together, seemingly having a heated argument.

"Simone! Would you listen to me? Sparrows up to something! Why would he sail with eight kids, who have never sailed in their life? Answer me that?" Jimmy was heatedly saying to the girl named Simone.

"I don't know! Alright! Maybe it's cause we were all that were there!" Simone replied.

"The guys all agree with me. I'm sure Taz and Jess do too!"

"And what about me?" Luki angrily added.

"Well, we know how obsessed you are so-"

"JIMMY! Just because I'm obsessed, doesn't mean I'm stupid! I may think Jack is extremely hot, and openly advertise my love for him, but that doesn't erase the fact that he's a pirate! I'm not a fool and I can make my own decisions. As can the rest of us." Luki angrily retorted.

Jack waggled his eyebrows and looked at Gibbs, pointing at himself. "See, legend, I am!" he whispered loudly, but not so that the group of teens could hear.

"Look, Luki we know you girls can look after yourselves. It's just, we aren't at home or school anymore. This is real, we've already come to terms with that, and we need to watch out for each other." Matt said trying to ease the tension between the two.

"All right guys we can continue this later" Jess said, seeing Jimmy about to retort. "No, guys stop. This is not the time nor the place" she added urgently.

Looking around they saw Jack standing nearby, pretending not to listen.

"Well that's interesting. That's very interesting indeed." Jack thought to himself.

Luki, still angry from earlier, turned her anger on Jack.

"Listen Sparrow, don't pretend to look oblivious to what ye just heard, it doesn't do ye any good. And don't ye go jumping to any conclusions cause ye don't know the whole of what we were talking about, savvy?"

"An who are you to be ordering me around, missy?" Jack said quietly, intrigued by her bravery.

"If ye don't take my advice Sparrow, I'll be ye worst nightmare, love or not."

Turning to her friends and rolling her eyes at their disbelieving expressions, she went and stood by Matt.

"So, I can assume by your reactions that she doesn't do that a lot" Jack asked the still shocked teens. Not sure whether what he said was a good or bad thing.

"N-no, she does that sometimes, we just never thought she'd do it to you," replied an amazed Jess. "She's obsess- OW!"

"Alright then…" Jack replied, now wary of the girl who was listening to the whisperings of the boy standing next to her.

"Now you whelps, I be your new Captain and you will address me as such." To this the girls started giggling, whilst the boys rolled their eyes.

"Now, you will all state your names, how you know each other, your sailing experience and… where your from."

At this last question, the group of teens looked at each other worriedly. Something not gong unnoticed by the Captain.

Which left one question, where were these whelps from?

"Um… well, I'm Jessica, but call me Jess or Jessa, none of us have ever sailed before, we are all friends who go to school together, except for me cause I changed schools." Jess relayed to Jack.

Jack looked at the group and surveyed them.

There were eight in total.

Jack got their names and learned there were three couples.

Luki and Matt, Simone and Jimmy and Tayla and Evan were all couples.

This left Frank and Jess, apparently they weren't a couple, but behaved more like brother and sister.

But the rest were coupled off.

None of them had ever sailed before, never used a sword or pistol. Yet none seemed to be of high class.

Well actually that wasn't true, all of them looked like they hadn't done an honest days pirating in their lives.

Then again, they probably hadn't.

Luki and Jimmy seemed to be the most capable of pirating. Their earlier display had proved that.

"All right then lads, and lasses" Jack added as an after thought after seeing the look sent to him by all four girls. "as none of you seemed to have ever sailed before, you'll have to learn as we go. We leave on the first tide tomorrow morning."

With that he left to his cabin, leaving the eight teenagers to ponder what tomorrow held for them.

"Well guys, I dunno about you but I'm exhausted. We can figure everything out later ok?" And with that Jess headed down to the crews quarters, and after a pause her muffled yell was heard "And we can get out of these bloody uniforms!!! I hate this stupid hat!! Argh! Die! Die! Die!"

The group exchanged looks as if "Oh, god, she's hyper".

"I'm with Jess. Night all!" Luki hugged all the guys goodnight and left after Jess, Simone and Tayla quickly following suit.

The guys all looked at each other, before following the girls.

"You know what's funny?" Luki asked the girls.

"What?"

"Just imagine our parents reactions if they knew we were all sleeping with the guys."

Everyone burst into laughter.

"Oh get yer minds outta the bloody gutter you lot!" Luki said, upon realizing the double meaning of her sentence.

This just caused the group to laugh harder.

Luki: So how was that? Lame, stupid, awesome, cool, undecided?

Review and tell us so we can get the next chapter out sooner!

Jessa: Luki of course had the bright idea of me coupling off with Frank. Ew! Anyway, we have personality, wid a capital Y! Review, please!


	2. Weapons And Trysts

Jess: I'm SpontanuousChickie btw, I forgot to mention it last time! Argh, how very clumsy of me! gasp

Luki: giggles The rating is definitely going up! Lol Enjoy the second chapter everyone!!! Just a side note, some of ye may have noticed that I talk slightly like Jack/a pirate in this story. Well that's coz I really talk like that in real life. Lol Yes I know, sad but true. Ask Jess if ye don't believe me!

Disclaimer: If you honestly think that a pair of teenage girls who still giggle at the word "Abstinence" wrote PotC... Well, you have some serious problems. NOT OURS!

Taz awoke the next morning at the crack of dawn, "gracefully" rolling over in her hammock... ergo "gracefully" tipping it over.

"AAAH! Where am I? Where's Humphrey bear?" she sat up on the damp wood of the crew's quarters' floor, panicking. Everyone else reluctantly sat up and got out of their hammocks to calm her down.

Evan had his arm around her, and was saying "We need to get out of here soon! Imagine what's happening back in the future... Police searches! Helicopters!"

"Hell no, I've got Jack Sparrow within reach here mate. I ain't leaving!" Luki snapped, arms akimbo and added "Joking, Matt".

"We can't stay here forever Luki!" Jess sighed racking her brains for a reason for their time-travel.

"I figure that their was a glitch in time in accordance with Luki's medallion- WHICH SHE SAID WAS FAKE MIND YOU- being brought out into the light in the middle of a solar eclipse on a leap year, therefore causing all people within a four-metre radius of said medallion (complying with the four-year separation of leap years) to be transported to the time in which the medallion fell into civilian hands! And I'm assuming that we are in Post At World's End, which explains why Jack is racing Barbossa, and without a crew. So Will and Elizabeth are... twenty-one? Besides, I figure that if we just find out the date of the next solar eclipse, find the right medallion- remember Luki, yours had more teeth missing than normal- and if we all keep together, we can make it back home without any time having passed in our absence!" Jess was pacing up and down the floorboards, and was watching her feet.

She turned around to face her comrades. Six of the seven others surveyed her with blank expressions, Luki seemingly the only one who had followed her Jack-esque speech, before Jimmy spoke for all of them.

"What the f-!?" he exclaimed a little too loudly, before Simone clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Keep it PG-rated Jimmy" she warned.

"He will if you do, Simone- Remember kids! ABSTINENCE!" Luki managed to gasp out before all burst out laughing.

To explain, in a Science lesson learning about (ahem) birth control, the group's Science teacher had drilled into them "Now remember kids! The best form of contraception is abstinence! And if you start getting a little too close... Imagine your grandparents 'doing it!'". Funny stuff.

"Shut UP Luki!" Simone replied in horror, trying to avoid Jimmy's eye. Luki and Jess high-fived, still laughing hysterically.

Jack had been watching this interesting sequence from the bottom of the stairs. From Jess's dizzying theory to "Abstinence".

"All of you! Pull yerselves t'gether! We have to turn back to Tortuga- I've left me rum order there. And I- er- need to sort things out with- uh- a friend of mine!"

When he was halfway up the stairs, and the crew were at the bottom, all it took was Jess to say "What's the bet that he's got a new "girlfriend", and Scarlett and Giselle found out?"

"Someone should just remind him about "abstinence!" Jimmy whispered back.

Then they were off again.

"Alright ye scabrous dogs! All hands on deck!"

Yes, the captain had returned from where ever he had disappeared to and was ready to teach his new crew the ropes.

Groaning, all eight teens slowly trudged towards their captain.

All, except of course Luki, who grinned and whispered to Simone.

"I'd get my hands on his deck any day!"

Giggling, Simone agreed. "Yep! Damn he's hot! Maybe he's gonna teach us how to handle a sword."

Ever the dirty mind.

Hearing these comments, the girls were all set off into hysterical laughter.

Rolling their eyes, the males of the group walked slowly over to Jack, all muttering about ways they could get rid of their Captain, so that THEIR girls would focus on THEM for a while, instead of their roguish pirate captain.

Finally gaining their composure, the girls made their way over to Jack as well, to hear what he was telling the guys.

"Now then, first things first. As a pirate, we shall be raiding ships, therefore you will need to learn how to defend yerselves, and if ye must, how to kill."

Upon hearing this, several of the group felt just a bit queasy and worried at the thought of possibly having to kill someone.

Not all of said people were girls either.

The only people who seemed unfazed at the thought of having to kill someone were, surprise surprise, Jimmy and Luki.

But even those two were unsure.

Ignoring the looks of unease on his crews face, Jack strode over to where a vast array of weapons was lined up.

"Therefore," he continued "ye shall be learning how to fire a pistol and handle a sword."

There they were. The magic words.

Within three seconds the girls had exchanged looks and fallen to the deck in a heaving mess of giggles and hysterical laughing.

Yet again the boys rolled their eyes, while Jack looked confused.

"Was it something I said?"

This just caused the girls to laugh even harder.

It was a full fifteen minutes before the girls were ready to begin learning how to fight.

First they learnt how to load, cock and shoot a pistol, learning just the way Jack had.

With a bag of gunpowder, a bucket of shot, the eight teens fired at the many empty rum bottles that were to be found on the Pearl.

Jack would throw one up in the air and they would take it in turns to aim and shoot.

Within a few hours, all eight were able to hit nine of ten bottles they were given to hit. Evan hit every single one, then explained that he had learned how to shoot AGES ago.

Once shooting practice was over the teens flopped to the deck exhausted.

Seeing this, Jack decided to cut them a tiny bit of slack. After all, he still remembered how his muscles ached after he had trained himself to shoot.

Their arms were definitely going to be sore later.

And they still had to learn to fence!

"All of ye, I'm pleased with the determination of each of ye to learn. Ye seem to be a lil tired, so ye can have one hour, only one, to relax. After that ye will learn to fight with a blade."

"What, like this?" Jess picked up her temporary sword, looped the tip through the handle of Jack's and easily flipped it out of his hand. "I took fencing lessons for a year in Year Ten" she explained to her companions, pinking up Jack's sword and handing it back to him. She chose to ignore the dirty look he shot at her.

With that he walked towards his cabin door, pausing suddenly as he reached it, he called over his shoulder, "an none of yer ta leave the ship!"

A collective 'AYE CAPTAIN!' was heard from the deck. That small comment from their captain was enough to raise the spirits of the tired, wannabe pirates.

With renewed energy, they all made their ways to different parts of the ship to spend some… quality time with their significant other.

Except of course, Jess and Frank who decided that maybe a good practical joke would get Jack to lighten up.

When Jack had told them they had free time for a whole hour, all eight teenagers sighed with relief.

Taz and Evan headed down towards the galley to get something to eat.

Simone walked over to the railing to stare out to sea. Jimmy came up behind her and put his arms around her.

Long gone was the childhood shyness that plagued them for much longer than it had the others, when they first began going out at the sweet age of fifteen.

"Jimmy, what if we aren't able to get home?" Simone asked quietly.

"We will. What ever brought us here had something to do with the medallion Luki wears. We can think about that later though. I wanna spend some time just thinking of you." Jimmy replied, nuzzling her neck softly.

Simone giggled, remembering a time when the two constantly had three meters between them as well as another person.

Back then they both would have blushed at the mere thought of how close they were now.

"Matt, where are ye taking me?" giggled Luki, as Matt took her hand pulled her through a few walkways.

"Shh" Matt whispered, pushing Luki gently against a wall.

He gently began to kiss her neck, "I love you" he whispered in her ear, before returning his attention to her neck.

"Mmm… I love you too" she replied, eyes closed.

Then he kissed her on the mouth, slowly and gently. He ran his tongue across her lips asking permission.

Luki willingly obliged, parting her lips and allowing his tongue entry to her mouth.

As his hand began to reach the hem of her shirt, someone cleared their throat beside them.

Jack grinned as he walked in upon two of his crew in a deep lip lock.

"Ahem" he cleared his throat, his grin growing wider at the reaction such a small noise received.

Hearing the presence of someone next to them, Luki and Matt quick as lightning jumped apart, faces bright red.

Luki, clumsy as ever, tripped over a loose bit of flooring causing her to land on her rear, much to her embarrassment and Jack and Matt's amusement.

Picking herself up of the ground and dusting herself off, she turned to Jack.

"Something we can help ye with Captain?" she all but growled.

Remembering what the others had said to him the day just past, Jack inconspicuously took a step backwards.

Realising he was acting afraid of a girl many years his junior, he composed himself.

"Actually lass, there was, otherwise I wouldn't have broken up yer lil moment between yerself an the lad here. I wish ta talk to ye. Alone."

Looking sadly at Matt, she nodded and followed Jack towards his cabin. Although the situation seemed grim, she bit back a laugh at the black ring surrounding Jack's eye- and two of her friends high-fiving as Jack passed them.

Luki: There ye bloody go, a hook up scene between meself n Matt like ye bloody wanted. Pouts I hate ye all….

And just so ye know, this was finished at 12.28 am. Ye bloody enjoy it. Lol

Jess: Oh gosh. I've gone all dyslexic coz it's so late, but we're done. I'm shaking, I'm so tired. But it's finally done, hope you enjoyed! Please review! collapses due to exhaustion


End file.
